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Domestic Violence

Safety Plan & Resource Guide

A community project sponsored by the Jaffrey Police Department

If you are involved in a violent relationship, you may feel embarrassed, ashamed, isolated, or trapped.  These are common emotions for people trying to come to terms with the fact that they are in a relationship with a person who is abusing them or other members of their family.  It may be difficult for you to talk about or tell others what is occurring.  It may be even more difficult for you to separate yourself from the abuser.  You may desire to stay in the relationship and try to work through the issues in hopes that the violent behavior ends.  You may be hesitant to leave because you have no means to support yourself or children.  You may believe that you have nowhere safe to go.  Ultimately, you may be scared to leave because you have been threatened with further violence if you do.  What is important to remember is that you are not at fault for the violence and help is available.  We urge you to call 911 when violence is occurring or the Jaffrey Police Department at 603-532-7865 to report an incident that has already occurred and you need help obtaining support services. (Important contact phone numbers are listed at the bottom of this page.) 

If you have chosen to, or are forced to stay in the violent environment, the following are suggestions on how you can maximize your safety and be prepared to leave should you choose to do so.        

Safety during an Domestic Violence Incident

  • If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in a room or area with access to an exit and not in the bathroom, kitchen or anywhere near weapons.
  • Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows, stairs or elevator would be best.
  • Have a packed bag ready and keep it in a secret but accessible place in order to leave quickly.
  • Decide and plan for where you will go if you have to leave home - even if you don't think you will need or choose to.
  • Devise a code word to use with your children, family, friends and neighbors when you need the police.
  • Identify a neighbor you can tell about the violence and ask that they call police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home.
  • If the situation is very dangerous, use your own instincts and judgments to keep safe.
  • You have the ability to obtain a restraining order at court during business hours and through police nights and weekends.

Safety When Preparing to Leave

  • Determine who would let you stay with them or lend you some money.
  • Always try to take your children with you or make arrangements to leave them with someone safe.
  • Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents and extra clothes with someone you trust.
  • Open a savings account in your own name to begin establishing or increasing your independence. Make sure that the bank statements are mailed directly to a trusted friend or family member. Think of other ways in which you can increase your independence.
  • Keep shelter numbers close at hand and keep change or a calling card with you at all times.
  • Review your safety plan with a domestic violence advocate in order to plan the safest way to leave your batterer.

REMEMBER: Leaving your abuser can be the most dangerous time.

Safety With A Restraining Order

  • Keep your restraining order with you at all times. Leave extra copies at work, with a friend, in your car, etc.
  • Call the police if your abuser breaks the protective order, even if only by phone.
  • Think of alternative ways to keep safe if the police do not respond right away.
  • Inform family, friends and neighbors that you have a restraining order in effect.
  • Try to avoid places in the community where your abuser may frequent.

Safety On the Job and In Public

  • If you are thinking of returning to a potentially abusive situation, discuss an alternative plan with someone you trust.
  • If you have to communicate with your abuser, determine the safest way to do so.
  • Work on having positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive with others about your needs.
  • Plan to attend a support group for at least one month to gain support from others and learn more about yourself and the relationship.
  • Decide who you can call freely and openly to give you the support you need.
  • Read books, articles and poetry to help you feel stronger.
  • Always remember you have the right NOT to be abused in a relationship - physically, emotionally or sexually.

If you are the victim of domestic violence and believe law enforcement protection is needed for your physical safety, you have the right to request that the officer assist in providing for your safety, including asking for an emergency telephonic order of protection. You may also request that the officer assist you in obtaining from your premises and curtilege: toiletries, medications, clothing, business equipment and any other items determined by the court, and in locating and taking you to a local safe place including, but not limited to, a designated meeting place to be used as a crisis center, a family member's or friend's residence, or a similar place of safety. If you are in need of medical treatment, you have the right to request the officer to assist you in obtaining an ambulance.

Important Phone Numbers

 
Police
  • Emergency:  911
  • Cheshire County Dispatch: 603-355-2000
  • Jaffrey Police: 603-532-7865

Victim Services & Counseling

  • Victim-Witness Advocate: 352-0056
  • Women's Crisis Services: 352-3782 / 532-6800
  • Monadnock Family Services: 532-4291
  • Help Line: 1-800-368-4357
  • Keene Safe House: 352-3844
  • Jaffrey Welfare Office: 532-7445
  • Food Stamps: 357-3510
  • WIC Program: 352-7512
  • NH  Victim Assistance Commission: 1-800-300-4500
  • NH Legal Assistance: 225-4700
  • Legal Help Line: 1-800-852-3388